so on monday my oldest goes back to school, I watch as she gets herself ready to go and I’m amazed by how much she has grown in one short year… my house is strewn with the evidence of her leaving, and chaos reigns supreme, last night I cleaned the bathroom because its the only room where i can see the floor. The chaos makes me feel really unbalanced and I realise that summer is almost over and so many goals unfilfiled again. I am too exhausted to beat myself up over this, I am more concerned with how I will find time to prepare for a class I haven’t taught before, and shop for new running shoes for the baby and force my son to the store for something to wear… I have a lot of creative ideas stewing, well boiling over, and no energy to pursue them. I am feeling drained and sad by this, and really frustrated. I am trying to be patient with both myself and the situation, but I am not being entirely succesful! Thank heavens for the voice of friends, this week Bethany made me feel I had made a small difference and that was enough to keep me swimming against the tide, so thank you Bethany for your kind words.