worries

I have spent my whole day worrying, I am a worrier by nature so this is not unusual, unfortunately I have worked myself into a funk and am now paralysed by fear. Perhaps I should back track, my husband came home on Friday night and told me his shift will cease to exist on Dec 5th. He may or may not then have a job, no one could tell him. We have been here before, we will be OK, but then I started thinking bad thoughts, what ifs, They are evil and then once you give them life you can’t make them stop, they roll up like snowballs and pound you flat. So… mostly I am worried we will have no health insurance, and even more than that, that we won’t be able to afford to send our oldest daughter back to school next year (this year is paid for). Ok I said it out loud, maybe I can let it go now. Thnaks for listening

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5 thoughts on “worries

  1. I know exactly what you are talking about with the worry/fear thing. Probably doesn’t make you feel better knowing I’ve never had health insurance in my life….
    for what it is worth, I feel for you and hope your husband doesn’t have to struggle too long finding work and that all works out for your daughter/family.

  2. Deb.
    Oh do I get this. I live with this fear every day. However, I am the only one here. It is all up to me. At any given time, my art job could disappear. Today? Tomorrow? Who knows I even asked my boss, “Did you hear anything about art cuts?”

    The biggest problem isn’t losing my job. The tragedy would be that I am the only person in my life to do anything about it. My whole existence depends on my very own sweat. There is no net to catch me or any other person to unite with me to fight the demon. Now, that is scary. I am not goiing to think about any of this. I will survive no matter what happens. I have survived before. I will survive again.

    In the meantime, I must say: I am sure you and your husband will too.

  3. Thanks for listening all… you are all right of course at least we are a team and I have someone to face uncertainty with. What is hardest for me is that I was a stay home mum for a long time and so my earning power has never caught back up after I dropped my career to be with my children. I feel very responsible for the poor financial situation we are in, my not bringing in an income definitely affected our long term wealth and left us in this precarious position. Its not just worry but also guilt, that my life style choices are going to bite us all… ah well I will try not to borrow trouble from tomorrow and be more positive today.

  4. Everyone seems to be in a time of changes these days. You’ll be fine. Fear is a shimmering mirage that has little to do with the realities that actually happen. There’s opportunity in change.

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