why blog? or I make art so I won’t cry

everyone is being very existential this week – deep thoughts abound in the world of blog.

Paula of self taught artist is blogging about the very real realities of life as an artist and asking some probing questions that have her readers puzzling. Paula is my art hero, she has thrown herself with no holds barred into a creative life and writes with compelling honesty about the costs and rewards of her choices. I wish I had her courage. My favorite quote from this weeks posts over there is from the artist Paul Klee on the subject of making art – “I make art so I won’t cry”. I like this very much, I am adopting it as my mantra, since everything else about art making is so up in the air for me right now. I am just going to keep making, because the alternative is too grim to contemplate even without direction.

On a slightly less serious note Seth over at The Altered Page is starting a series of posts about art blogging. I admire Seth a great deal, he is generous and honest and his work is stunning. I am also in complete awe of the number of projects he can juggle seemingly with ease. I think he will have much useful and thought-provoking information, so I will be staying tuned. and maybe I will know the answer to why I blog at least – any answers would feel good right now

which brings me to where I find myself, rudderless and adrift, I am sure some of you have been there. and wondering why? Life in the studio is full of ideas that will require hours of execution, and I am feeling drained of energy and enthusiasm and thinking about just laying down and letting the waves wash over me.

I am thinking about installations again, and about Charlotte’s wallpaper and utopia, about how I have no idea what that would look like, and about this: written by Edith Wharton (the fulness of life)

“But I have sometimes thought that a woman’s nature is like a great house full of rooms: there is the hall, through which everyone passes in going in and out; the drawing room, where one receives formal visits; the sitting-room, where the members of the family come and go as they list; but beyond that, far beyond, are other rooms, the handles of whose doors perhaps are never turned; no one knows the way to them, no one knows whither they lead; and in the innermost room, the holy of holies, the soul sits alone and waits for a footstep that never comes.”

and thinking if she couldn’t have it all, I am delusional.

OK going back to the studio to execute a tedious repetitive idea and ask myself why? I know one day far from now it will be gloriously finished but who will care but me and is that enough? today I just don’t know.

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10 thoughts on “why blog? or I make art so I won’t cry

  1. boy Deb, I am deeply moved by your honesty here, and in my own way, can very much relate to your searching and questions.

    The Paul Klee quote is magnificent, while it stabs me to the core. it rings so true, but lately that one thing that keeps me from crying also causes me intense pain.

    I think you may actually answer the ‘why?’ question for yourself here – “I am just going to keep making, because the alternative is too grim to contemplate even without direction.” We are artists – perhaps questioning why is equivalent to asking ourselves why we eat, or breathe… So, bravo to you for continuing to move into this place of not knowing, and into your studio.

    There are also ways for “laying down and letting the waves wash over me” while continuing to work in the studio. I see a surrendering – perhaps to all the unknown you describe. Surrender is a powerful threshold, and from here it appears you are on it. And by the way, you are also a courageous one.
    Thank you for this very beautiful post.
    sending hugs, and love, Karin

  2. I noticed the existential theme out there these days too. Interesting that so many people are feeling so filled with thought and questions lately. For me, the periods of asking why are very tough…but I think they are necessary and part of life. And when enough time passes and we begin to feel that we have a bit of an answer to that question, the whole process becomes worthwhile!

  3. Always so honest and exacting in your self evaluation – issues I try to ignore and brush under the carpet. Thank you Debra for making me look again at what I do.

  4. Deb, I don’t know if this helps or not, but I blog partly because I get to know wonderful, accomplished, creative people like you. I get to read about what they’re thinking, which is sometimes similar to, or sheds light on, what I’m thinking; I get to see their beautiful art and find out how they make it. I treasure their friendship and support, which makes me feel less alone. I hope that my friendship and support does the same for them. And I, too, make art so I won’t cry. I think your instinct to “just keep on making” is right, and will lead you where you need to go- follow your true path. Much love, S

  5. Hey dear one,
    for all of us, life certainly has its ups and downs. You show such strength in your writing which is more than so many. You’re an artist because it’s in your heart- everyone has their ebbs and flow of energies, inspirations and timing for what they need to do and when. When all else fails for me, honestly, i put a big smile on my face and make my lists of what i need to do- and somehow- energy just comes out of seemingly nowhere to move me forward. Best wishes for a wonderful mothers day!! sending hugs and smiles

  6. Pingback: buried treasure? « Dryadart's Weblog

  7. The words are often more important than the images. As an artist, I often ‘forget’ what it is that brings me to do what I do. If I read something while blog-hopping, I often can’t find my way back to it. If I bookmark it, and then return to my bookmarked pages even a day later, I can’t remember why I marked it in the first place! Verey powerful words you’ve chosen…

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