This coming weekend I was supposed to be heading off to Saltonstall Art Colony for a weekend retreat – 4 days of glorious uninterrupted silence in a studio by myself.
Then a few weeks ago, my admittedly very old car blew up – a terminal head gasket demise. My hubby offered to rent a car for me to go, or even to let me take his truck but it seemed the last straw, too much to ask. So I am having a retreat at home instead. I am catching up on everything that needs to be done, so I can take a few days to really get down to work. My hubby says he can feed himself (and me). I am so unbelievably loved!
My hubby has given up a lot for my dreams – when we met he was planning to become a professional race driver (he is very good) and then we fell in love and he extended his tour in the Air Force so we could be married. By the time his career in the services was over we had two children, so he got a “real” job to give us a home and security. We always imagined some day down the road there would be enough money to give him his start – then we had another child. For twenty years now he has worked a job that doesn’t emotionally reward him so that we can have all the material comforts we enjoy – our beautiful home, food on our table, a choice of what to wear. He has helped to put two of them through college and this year he will be adding a third lot of tuition. He is such a good man.
I tell you all this because he also stood by me as I decided to go back to college. He juggled the kids and his job so that I could take a year in England by myself to finish my masters. He has supported and encouraged me every step of the way, and here I am living my dream. I teach at a college, I have a wonderful spacious studio, I have time and space and love. I have lots of love. All because of him.
This year our baby heads off to college, it is a new time in our lives together. The future suddenly seems wide open again. I am applying for full time teaching jobs all over and together we are dreaming of the next phase in our lives. I hope one of those jobs works out, that all the stars align, and then maybe I can take over some of his burden and he can begin to dream again.
A new house in the country, a BIG BIG barn – downstairs for his workshop, upstairs for my studio. Oh how I hope the universe is listening!
But back to now, I have no idea how I will afford a new car, or the summer of weddings, or the extra tuition bills next year. I am just trying to count my blessings and hold on for the ride. Living your dreams is sometimes pretty scary! Lucky for me I have a good man to hold me when it gets too rough.